We can use a lot of different things to self-injure. Sex is just another one of the ways we can put ourselves down, seek out attention or positive affirmations, or even as a way to numb out from other hurts. I have had many clients who have used sex as a way to prove that they were, in fact, a slut or whore or not worthy of real love. In many ways, you can see how their sex life was really their way of self-injuring. If we have sex with others as a way to prove or disprove how we feel about ourselves, then I would consider talking it out with your therapist. It’s important that we understand why we are doing it, so we can heal or process through that reason. I don’t want any of you to feel shame or embarrassment about this, it is much more common than you think! All it means is that we still have some work to do in therapy before we can have a happy and healthy sex life. So take your time, and know that the urges to use sex as a way to punish or harm yourself will go away. xoxo
Here is the question from Patreon:
Hi, Kati! I don’t know if this is too much to ask for one of these videos, but I didn’t know where else I can ask it. Is it possible for people to use sex as a form of self-harm? I don’t know if that even makes sense, but when I was little I had what can be best described as a family who did a lot of body shaming. Now I’m left wondering if some of the not so great choices I’ve made around men are tied to that in a way and if it could be a form of self-harm? I don’t know if this is making any sort of sense, it doesn’t really make sense to me either, but it all sort of feels “off”.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.
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I’m Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos – Depression, Eating Disorders, Anxiety, Self-Harm and more! Mental health shouldn’t have a stigma attached to it. You’re worth the fight!
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